Do You Stereotype?

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With the world becoming more mobile and diverse, diversity has taken on a new importance in the workplace and in life.

Stereotypes vs. Biases

A stereotype is a conventional, formulaic, and oversimplified conception, opinion, or image. One who stereotypes generally thinks that most or all members of an ethnic or racial group are the same. Typical words used with stereotyping include: clannish, aggressive, blue-collar, lazy.

Bias is a preference or an inclination, especially one that inhibits impartial judgment. The use of bias is more subtle. Often it is evident through the addition of qualifiers or added information to spoken statements. For example, you may hear “Jane González, who has a degree, will be joining our staff”, implying that having a degree sets this individual apart from most Hispanics, who may not have degrees.

Identifying Your Baggage

Baggage is defined as intangible things (as feelings, circumstances, or beliefs) that get in the way.

From an early age, you learn to place people and objects into categories. As you grow up and are influenced by parents, peers, and the media, your tendency to label different racial, cultural, or other groups as superior or inferior increases significantly. This can be referred to as your baggage.

Though often you are unaware of what constitutes your baggage, you can begin to uncover it by monitoring your thoughts when you encounter an ethnic last name, see a skin color, hear an accent different than yours, interact with someone who has a disability, or learn that a person is gay.

As these events occur, look for consistency. Do you have the same reaction to members of a given group each time you encounter him or her? Ask yourself: “Do I have these reactions before — or after I have a chance to know the individual?” If the answer is before, these are your stereotypes. Work to label these automatic responses as stereotypes and remind yourself that they are not valid indicators of one’s character, skills or personality. Because stereotyping is a learned habit, it can be unlearned with practice. And remember not to judge yourself; a thought is private, and not an action.

Understanding What This Means

Knowing as much as you can about your own ethnocentrism helps you recognize how discomfort with differences can prevent you from seeing others as “fully human”. With practice, you can identify feelings and thoughts, filtering them through a system of questions designed to help you change your baggage, or perceptions.

Changing Your Personal Approach

Once you’ve identified and understand your baggage, what do you do to make changes? Often, the beliefs you hold are the result of your own cultural conditioning; they determine whether you will seek rapport with individuals who are different from you.

The first step is acknowledging that you’re human, will probably make some mistakes, and likely do have some stereotypes. Next, work to become more aware of your inner thoughts and feelings — and how they affect your beliefs and actions.

We typically make a judgment about someone in less than 30 seconds. To change your personal approach to diversity, try these steps when you make contact with a new person:

  1. Collect information
  2. Divide out the facts from your opinions, theories, and beliefs
  3. Make judgment based only on the facts
  4. Periodically refine your judgment based on the facts
  5. Try to continue expanding your opinion of the person’s potential.

When you have a stereotypical thought about a group that is different from you, follow it up with an alternative thought based on factual information that discounts the stereotype. Engage in honest dialogue with others about race that at times might be difficult, risky, or uncomfortable, and look for media portrayals of different races that are realistic and positive.

 

Excerpts taken from Career Concepts “Cultural and Generational Diversity” workshop.

 

Creating Positive Self-Talk

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Positive self-talk allows you to recognize, validate and apply your full potential with respect to all that you are, and do. Also called affirmations (to make something firm), positive self-talk serves as your own personal accomplishment scale. Below are some tips for positive self-talk:

  1. Use the present tense; deal with what exists today.
  2. Be positive – rather than affirming what you don’t want.
  3. Remain personal; self-talk must relate to you and you only.
  4. Keep sentences short and simple.
  5. Go with your gut. If it “clicks”, then just say it. Self-talk should feel positive, expanding, freeing, and supporting.
  6. Focus on new things, rather than changing what is.
  7. Act “as if”; give yourself permission to believe the idea is true right now.

If self-talk is new to you, it is a good idea to first think about the things that are wonderful about you, such as:

  • I have someone I love, and we enjoy spending time together
  • I am a mother or father, fulfilled in this role
  • My career is challenging and fulfilling.
  • When I learn something new, I feel proud.
  • I am worthwhile because I breathe and feel; I am aware.
  • When I feel pain, I love, I try to survive.  I am a good person.

Identifying and Addressing Strengths and Weaknesses Exercise

1) Create a list of words and phrases of self-attributes (describing yourself).

2) Then decide whether they are strengths or weaknesses / positive or negatives.

3) Re-frame weaknesses / negatives into a message that does not create a negative self-worth and low self-esteem.

4) Let us know how you did by commenting below.

The Cycle of Anger

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Anger is a natural emotion that usually stems from perceived threat or loss. It’s a pervasive emotion; it affects our body, thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Anger is often described in terms of its intensity, frequency, duration, threshold and expression.
Anger typically follows a predictable pattern: a cycle. Understanding the cycle of anger can help us understand our own anger reactions, and those of others. It can also help us in considering the most appropriate response.

These are the five phases of the anger cycle: trigger, escalation, crisis, recovery and depression.

1. The Trigger Phase
The trigger phase happens when we perceive a threat or loss, and our body prepares to respond. In this phase, there is a subtle change from an individual’s normal/ adaptive state into his stressed state. Anger triggers differ from person to person, and can come from both the environment or from our thought processes.

2. The Escalation Phase
In the escalation phase, there is the progressive appearance of the anger response. In this phase, our body prepares for a crisis after perceiving the trigger. This preparation is mostly physical, and is manifested through symptoms like rapid breathing, increased heart rate and raised blood pressure. Once the escalation phase is reached there is less chance of calming down, as this is the phase where the body prepares for fight or flight.

3. The Crisis Phase
As previously mentioned, the escalation phase is progressive, and it is in the crisis phase that the anger reaction reaches its peak. In the crisis phase our body is on full alert, prepared to take action in response to the trigger. During this phase, logic and rationality may be limited, if not impaired because the anger instinct takes over. In extreme cases, the crisis phase means that a person may be a serious danger to himself or to other people.

4. The Recovery Phase
The recovery phase happens when the anger has been spent, or at least controlled, and there is now a steady return to a person’s normal/ adaptive state. In this stage, reasoning and awareness of one’s self returns. If the right intervention is applied, the return to normalcy progresses smoothly. However, an inappropriate intervention can re-ignite the anger and serve as a new trigger.

5. The Depression Phase
The depression phase marks a return to a person’s normal/ adaptive ways. Physically, this stage marks below normal vital signs, such as heart rate, so that the body can recover equilibrium. A person’s full use of his faculties return at this point, and the new awareness helps a person assess what just occurred. Consequently, this stage may be marked by embarrassment, guilt, regret and/ or depression.

After the depression phase is a return to a normal or adaptive phase. A new trigger, however, can start the entire cycle all over again.

Below is an example of a person going through the five stages of the anger cycle:

Josephine came home from work to see dirty plates left in the sink (trigger phase).

She started to wash them, but as she was doing so she kept thinking about how inconsiderate her children are for not cleaning after themselves. She was already tired from work and does not need the extra chore. She felt the heat in her neck and the tremble in her hands as she’s washing the dishes (escalation phase).

Feeling like she can’t keep it to herself any longer, she stormed up the room to confront her kids. In a raised voice, she asked them how difficult could it be to wash the dishes. She told them that they are getting punished for their lack of responsibility (crisis phase).

Having gotten the words out, she felt calmer, and her heartbeat slowly returned to normal. She saw that her kids are busy with homework when she had interrupted them. She was also better able to hear their reasoning, as they apologized (recovery phase).

Josephine regretted yelling at her children and told them that she’s simply tired and it’s not their fault (depression phase).

NOTE: How long each phase lasts differ from person to person. Some people also skip certain phases, or they go through them privately and/ or unconsciously.

Excepts taken from Career Concepts “Managing Your Emotions” Workshop

Keeping Your Workspace Organized

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Your workspace is a reflection of your organizational skills.  Having a cluttered unorganized workspace sends the message to others that you may be the type of person that loses things or is constantly behind of projects.  Taking the time to organize your work space is a good investment.  It not only improves your efficiency, it sends the message to your manager and peers that you are organized.

Here are some basic suggestions to make your desk a true workspace:

  • Only place books, binders, and other reference materials on your desk that you use on a weekly basis. All other infrequently used materials should be placed in a drawer or cabinet.
  • Keep personal effects to a minimum on your desk. Perhaps one or two photos of your family, favorite sports team or pet are enough to personalize your area.

Next, create a workflow pattern on your desktop.  This will keep you from creating piles of work to accumulate atop your desk.

Here are some recommendations:

  • Create a landing place where you will begin processing work either from left to right or vice versa. This work could come from your paper trail folder system or just work you have to complete.
  • Move your first task to the middle of your desk where your computer and other office supplies are neatly organized in trays or holders.
  • Once the work is complete, place them in one of four trays at the other end of your desk. These trays are your Outboxes.
  • Mark your trays “To be filed”, “To be mailed”, and “To be reviewed” or “Pending information.

Try avoiding working on too many things at once.  This will lead to multiple piles of work on your desk.

Excerpts taken from Career Concepts “The Administrative Professionals” Workshop

Why Do We Want To Learn As We Age?

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I wish I loved learning when I was younger as much as I do now. Our thirst for knowledge has become insatiable and quickly satisfied with the advent of the internet, however with busier lives and on-demand requests who has time to scour the internet to educate ourselves with (what we hope is) accurate information?

So assuming you have a love for learning… what makes you attend a workshop, pick up a book or enrol in continuous education programs?

 

Dressing for Success

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A significant part of practicing etiquette is proper self-presentation. The way you look talks, not just about how you want to project yourself, but also the courtesy you have for the people in your company. Let’s talk about the meaning of colors, the meaning of dress codes and guidelines on how to choose the right clothes to wear.

The Meaning of Colors

Here are some guidelines in the use of colors in business attires:

  1. In general, conservative colors are perceived as more professional and appropriate for business-related situations. These colors include black (which is perceived as the most formal), white, dark gray and navy blue. Conservative colors are recommended for formal occasions; you can be more playful during casual days.
  2. Wear these conservative colors in solid blocks instead of as part of a printed pattern.
  3. The main suit is recommended to have conservative colors but louder colors can be mixed with the accessories. E.g. the tie and pocket squares for men or scarf for the women.

Some of the common interpretations associated with colors are:

    1. Red – connotes dominance and power
    2. Orange – warmth and enthusiasm
    3. Yellow – optimism and confidence
    4. Green – vitality and harmony
    5. Blue – serenity and peace

A lot of companies use color dress code for building their brand as employees interact with the consumers. Also, when the workforce dresses the same color, it further brings unity among the employees.

Interpreting Common Dress Codes

Dress codes often depend on the company or industry where you work in, and even in the type of job that you do. It is also not unusual for different activities in the same job to call for different dress codes.

  1. Dressy Casual

Dressy casual means dressed up versions of casual looks. For men, it could be neatly pressed slacks and a sports coat. For women, it can be slacks, but also skirts, dresses. This can be matched with solid color t-shirts, mock turtleneck, polo shirt, collared or button down shirts/blouses.

Casual means anything goes but in the business setting, casual is recommended to be interpreted as dressy casual.

  1. Semi-Formal:

Semi-formal means a medium between formal and informal. For men, semi-formal can translate to neatly pressed dress pants, slacks, button shirts & ties. Jackets are optional but preferred. For ladies, it’s evening dress, dinner dress (knee length) or some pants suits.

  1. Formal:

Formal means tuxedos, dark suits & ties for men. For ladies, it’s cocktail to floor length dresses, nylons and dress shoes.

  1. Black tie:

Black tie is the most formal dress code. Men wears black tuxedo coat, trousers with satin ribbon, cummerbund and bow tie. Ladies are to wear ball gowns.

There are dress codes that state ‘Black tie optional’. This means that the men have the option of wearing a regular suit with a tie instead of a tuxedo. Ladies have the option of wearing a cocktail gown or a dinner dress. Long to full-length skirts are preferred.

Deciding What to Wear

Tips when deciding what to wear:

  1. When attending a work-related social function, try to determine how your host or hostess would like you to dress and go with their response. There is nothing wrong in making inquiries about dress codes beforehand.
  2. Casual generally means that you can wear whatever you want. But in business, casual carries with it a lot of do’s and don’ts. You should dress comfortably but not too comfortable. Business casual means avoiding flip-flops, shorts, cut-off jeans and halters.
  3. When dressing in the office, refer to the company dress code or if none is written, check the company culture.
  4. Note the context of the meeting, the seniority of the company, as well as the venue. Obviously, lunch at a burger place is more casual than lunch at a star-rated restaurant. A meeting with board members is more formal than a meeting with your staff. Dress accordingly.
  5. When in doubt of your client’s dress policy, error on the side of conservativeness. It’s better to overdress than under-dressed.

 

Excerpts taken from Career Concepts “Personal Impact” Workshop

Tools to Regulate Your Emotions

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The ability to keep your emotions under control requires more than a willing heart. Understanding a situation through the eyes of another and strengthening self-management and self-awareness skills are tools that can be used in your quest to regulate your emotions.

Seeing the Other Side

If you ever want to understand the type of person you are and how you behave, ask other people. It is easy to justify the things you do, so much so that it seems like everything you do is perfect or right.

Talk to your boss, co-workers or friends about how they view you. If someone says, ‘When everything is good you are a nice person, but if something doesn’t go your way, you have an explosive temper’, don’t get upset and don’t automatically say that it is untrue. Gaining this insight is a valuable tool for you to help regulate your emotions. Your emotions and how you express them is your responsibility.

The first step in influencing other people is entering their world. This means setting aside your own point of view, and looking at the situation from another person’s perspective.  Remember, each person is unique, and consequently sees the world differently. You can’t always assume that what’s clear to you is clear to the people you are talking to.

Seeing the other side involves knowing what is important to the other person: their values, their interests and preferences. Do they have strong feelings against what you are pitching to them?  What would it take to for them to get over their resistance? What are their characteristics — personality traits, social status or profession — that can you use in order to make your point more convincing?

Research, active listening and keen observation can help you in “seeing the other side.”

Self-Management and Self-Awareness

Self-management can sometimes be a hard quality to tame when self-awareness produces a very arrogant and self-centered result. The strength to self-management and self-awareness lies in the balance between the two. Understanding who you are, the role you play, authority you possess are all very important, but when these things overshadow your ability to be consistent and accountable, this could cause a poor outcome. By the same token, if one lacks understanding of whom they are and their importance, this could also hinder their ability to be consistent and accountable. People who are aware of their methods of dealing with conflict and understand the bearing of their way of doing things aren’t as likely to make matters worse than those who are not aware of themselves.

Giving in Without Giving Up

Compromise is an unavoidable part of dealing with others in both the business world and in personal relationships. The ideal situation would be that everyone agrees with everything you say, but that is highly unlikely. Unless you live in a society that does not value diplomacy, this is a skill that will present plenty of opportunities for you to master it.

This can be even more of an issue when you are in a position of less influence. You may be expected to compromise at a greater level or even expected to follow the lead of your superiors, without regard to your own feelings or opinions. In either case, learning how to have your beliefs, while accepting the ideas of others and not causing tension in the relationship is crucial to your success in the work place.

Issues are rarely black and white. In most cases, there are areas within a contention that you can compromise upon. If you want to improve your chances of influencing other people, be willing to make some concessions —- even if it’s just at the levels of simply agreeing to differ, agreeing that the other person has a right to their opinion, or agreeing that the other person has made a reasonable argument.

The skill of giving in is important because people generally don’t want to deal with individuals whose intention is to win at all points, or be declared “right” for the sake of being right. This makes the relationship confrontative rather than collaborative. The discussion becomes an argument, and the atmosphere turns tense. If you want to enhance your chances of winning someone over, be willing to consider —and even agree upon —reasonable requests. You may even volunteer to take losses in areas you can afford to give up, as long as you don’t lose sight of the main goal.

A person who is willing to “give in” from time to time comes across as sensible and realistic. Moreover, concessions communicate a sincere desire to do what is best for another person. At the very least, it can promote a culture of “quid pro quo” —- I will give you something, if you give me something in return.

The trick lies in choosing what you will concede. Understandably, you don’t want to “give up” and concede the very thing you are selling. Keep sight of the main goal and judge what you can sacrifice based on this main goal. If you can create a win-win compromise between what you want and what the other person likes, all the better.

Excepts taken from Career Concepts “ Managing Your Emotions” Workshop

 

So You Are Giving a Presentation and They Have Questions…

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The way you respond to questions will have a major effect on what kind of rapport you are able to build with the audience. If you answer questions thoughtfully and respectfully, people will feel that you are taking them seriously. If you give flip, dismissive answers, people will feel that you don’t have time for them.

People may ask questions which are not a hundred per cent serious, but even then you should not be dismissive, simply take the question in the spirit it was intended and take the opportunity to display a sense of humor.

Questions may well be an opportunity for you to get information into the presentation that you could not address due to overall time constraints. When someone asks a good question, begin your response with a sentence along the lines of “That’s a very good question, and I am glad you asked me that. I think the most important thing here is that..”.

If someone asks a question which you find either you cannot answer or which is difficult, do not simply say “I don’t know” but say “That’s a good question. I have to admit I hadn’t covered that issue – what do you think?”. This way you will not lose respect, but will allow discussion to flow more freely.

Dealing with Complex Questions

The steps to follow in handling a question

Listen

  • Listen attentively to the question.
  • Make eye contact with the questioner.
  • Nod or give other indications of encouragement.
  • Don’t interrupt.
  • Paraphrase when appropriate. If a person asks a long, rambling question, you might want to paraphrase it before you respond. Say something like, “Let me be sure I understand you. You are asking…”

Analyze

  • Before responding, make sure you understand the question.
  • Try to determine the intent of the questioner. Is he genuinely asking for clarification, or is he trying to disprove or challenge you? Watch facial expression and body language. Listen for tone.
  • Ask yourself, is there a broader issue behind the question that I need to address?

Affirm

  • Make eye contact with the questioner again.
  • Say something like, “That’s an interesting point,” or “I’m glad you brought that up.” An affirmation of this kind is especially important if the question was asked in a challenging way.

Answer

  • Don’t duck a question or give a vague answer.
  • If you don’t know the answer, say so. You might want to tell the questioner that you will call him the next day with an answer.
  • Give an honest answer. If the audience gets the impression that you are trying to put one over on them, you might as well pack up and go home.

The question and answer session traditionally comes at the end of the presentation, so if you shine during this section, people will remember that very clearly, as they will surely remember you negatively if you duck questions or give fraudulent answers. Ending on a positive note is hugely important in a presentation, and if you can do that you are most of the way to being a good public speaker.

Excerpts taken from Career Concepts “Presentation Skills” Workshop

 

P.S. Share this article with your friends so they can shine in their next presentation.

P.S.S. Let us know your challenges and how you handle Q&A sessions. 

 

Coaching Your Employees

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Many times, we feel that we have to outline the specific actions the employee has to take in order to reach the stated goal.  While this may make you feel better, the likely hood of this action becoming meaningful to your employee is close to nil.  Let us assume you have already agreed on a specific goal for your employee. Remember there is usually very little wiggle room when it comes to a performance goal.  Let us also assume that you have used the IRA steps to obstacle identification and removal.  Here is a recap of the IRA process:

  • Identify the obstacle: Have a frank discussion with your employee and determine what is blocking their performance. Waiting for them to give you the information voluntarily will probably not happen.
  • Root out the cause: Many times underlying emotions or problems may be the cause of the obstacles. Ask probing questions and jot down answers.  You might realize they have a fear that must be addressed.
  • Antidote given: A remedy to the situation is needed in order to get past this obstacle. Brainstorm with your employee on ways to remove the obstacles.  In some cases, you may have to try several different antidotes.  Be patient if the cause is genuine.

No matter what the perceived obstacles are, do not let it stifle your coaching objective.  Rarely, you may encounter an employee that throws obstacles constantly your way in an effort to derail you.  Identify this and address it with that employee, documenting every conversation.

Exploring your employees past performance and development is a great way to develop the reality of today’s performance.  Of course, you want to avoid belaboring a past mistake to the point where it makes the session ineffective.  On the other hand, focusing on past achievement helps to encourage your employee.

Here are some things to focus from the past:

  • Goals that were met
  • Great behaviors
  • Great attitudes
  • Problems solved

Using the past helps to recap where your employee is at today.  It is like telling a story but the end has not yet been determined.  Use this time to speak positively to your employee.  Avoid being negative or emphasizing the consequences to failure.  This will leave an impression on your employee that could hinder their success.

Now, let us take it from the employee’s perspective.  How in control do they feel?  Would they shut down if we, as their coach, solely determine the action steps they are going to take?  They might.  It is imperative to keep the employee engaged.  If not, the rest of the coaching session is just a one-way discussion, leaving your employee powerless in his or her own development.

When you allow your employee to participate in the development of their options, you get B.I.G. results.  B.I.G. results stand for the following benefits:

  • Buy-in by your employee, because the options developed was a collaborative effort
  • Innovation, because more creativity is possible when two work at it
  • Growth, because the options developed will have more meaning and lasting commitment

Following the above steps while working with your employee to set goals and identify the current state of the employee by exploring their past performance and perceived barriers will help you coach your employee to achieve B.I.G results. Happy Coaching!

Excerpts from Career Concepts “Coaching, Supervising and Mentoring” Workshop

But I’m So Nervous!

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Fear is a natural emotion that we all face. Those who succeed are not people who do not have fear. They are ones who learn the trick of ‘feeling the fear, and doing it anyway’, according to motivational speaker and writer Jack Canfield. You cannot allow your fear to do the driving. Approach your fear as if it were a small child and acknowledge that what you are doing is a bit frightening. Then advise your fear that you intend to ‘go for it’ anyway.

Meeting people can be anxiety-provoking. The need to impress another person can be a lot of pressure.

Here are some ways to minimize nervousness while in a social situation:

1. Be informed.

If possible, take time to research about the people you’re going to meet: their work, values and preferences.  Knowing ahead what is expected from you can prepare adequately. Nervousness is amplified by going to a situation blind.

2. Practice! Practice! Practice!

Networking is a skill, which means that you can develop it with practice.

Practice your introduction in front of a mirror and note what you need to improve.

You can also practice with peers. Get feedback from others about the kind of impression you give.

And try to meet as many people as you can! The more you do it, the easier it gets!

3. Learn relaxation techniques.

There are many activities that can help relax a nervous person. These activities include

a) Meditation

b) Self-talk

c) Visualization

d) Breathing exercises

e) Listening to music.

4. Identify your triggers,

If nervousness is a real problem for you, it is recommended that you identify what triggers your nervousness. Is it lack of confidence? Is it fear of authoritative people? Awareness can help you catch yourself in time and respond accordingly

5. Believe in what you have to offer!

It’s easy to get intimidated by how successful or famous the other person is. But remember, they’re people— just like you!  They would be willing to listen to someone who can offer them something that they want or need. Have faith in your business. Have faith in your personal worth. Adopt the mindset that you are doing them a service, and it’s your duty to not let them miss the opportunity of meeting you!

 

Excerpts from Career Concepts ” Personal Impact” Workshop